One-third Through

My first year of college will be over in a year, and I don't want to leave. College has opened a new world for me. Maybe my self-pity is premature, but I'm one-third of the way through. Next year, I'll be looking for and applying to graduate school. I can't believe it.

College is the time to force yourself to be independent and to solve your own problems. It prepares you for life by throwing you in these situations where maybe you're not ready. Learning to deal with my landlord, or your professor, reminds me everyday of how much I still have to learn outside of academics. Now is the time to learn how to write formal emails. Now is the time to learn how to grocery shop, and do laundry. The more you rely on others during college, the less you're be prepared when you leave. 

Where did the time go? The time for me to grow up? Why is that day, that day where I'll have to go out and get a job and make my own living, growing closer so quickly? I'm not ready!

And yet I know that by then I will be ready. College is the time you have to grow: to learn to pay credit card bills and to make a budget; to depend on friends and yet be independent; to look for a job; to interact with people who will have all the control over your future; to rent an apartment; to manage time; to prioritize. In college, there is still leeway. Your parents will back you financially and emotionally. It's a time where it's okay to make mistakes. And yet you are alone. College is a lonely place. When college becomes home, you are utterly on your own. You can't have two homes. 

I only have two years left here. I need to learn as much as I can. This is where I'm supposed to be, where my purpose is. But it's not home. I'm not independent yet.