Soul mates

Dear Pear,

I was thinking about soul mates, and whether or not they exist. When you first asked, I said no, but now I think it’s more complicated than that. Let’s start with this: I think there are some people that you’re definitely not meant to be with. By that logic, there must be people that you have a chance of working out with.

I think the reason I said no is that the idea of "soul mates" gives fate too much credit. When you think "soul mate" you think of an easy relationship, of love at first sight. But relationships take work. No matter who you're with, or how easy it seems at first.

In the end, the person you end up with will be someone that you learned to trust, that you value enough to make sacrifices to stay with, and who will make sacrifices for you. He will be the one you stick out tough spots with, and celebrate good times with. Maybe you will hate him when you first meet him. Maybe you'll get love at first sight. Maybe a meteor will hit the Earth tomorrow. 

And when you find that person, and you've been through all of those things, won't he be your soul mate? Won't he know you through and through, and be that person you can rely on to say what you want to hear and need to hear?

I think soul mates do exist, but they're not like clothes that you pick off the rack ready to wear. Sure, there's luck in it. You have to be attracted to each other (at the same time.) You have to be at similar stages of life and maturity. But there's also compromising, and commitment, and time. 

I guess there's my answer. It's probably longer than you wanted it to be though.

Love, 

Mengsha