Fragile

only the lightest touch 

please, or I will shatter

denial, along with my strength, worn away

still I cannot say the words that will make it real

obligations pull me

borne of long habit

up, out, onward

do I need patience and grace?

or just to move forward?

will the cloud pass if I wait?

or will the storm hover here

while the sun shines the next valley over?

they say to give yourself credit for the little things

but the dog still needs walking

the dishes need washing

and the thesis - damn you thesis - needs writing.

I want something I can grasp and fight

but this malaise 

this pandemic

this phd

is uncharted territory

I am powerless and lost

with no end in sight