Humans are animals, too.

12-1-10 8:53PM

Contradictions -

Distance is good, it's socially acceptable, but I don't think he wants it.
Closeness isn't possible at this time, neither is it socially feasible.
Friendship requires a delicate balance that neither of us have the subtlety to strike, and requires the most effort.
Pain at my happiness, which can not be suppressed for his sake even if I wanted to, yet every smile feels like I'm rubbing salt in the wound.
If he is happy, I am not the cause.
Pushing me away, pushing everyone away, on the defensive, like a hurt animal, unwilling to trust.
I still have the power to open, to heal, but not the strength, not the willingness.
No one else knows how.
I am reluctant because it will draw him closer, and I can't afford that.
What should I do? Should I, can I ignore his pain? I wouldn't cause any more. Should I, can I ignore him? Not possible right now, at least.
Is it possible to befriend? I don't think so.

I see two "easy" ways out. One, he finds someone else. Not likely at the moment. The second is that we don't see each other at all anymore, not possible until the year is over. Neither will happen soon.

Meanwhile: friends, extend a helping hand. Try to understand. In this only you can do what I cannot. Go easy, be forgiving. Now is his time for lashing out. Stay away from sensitive topics. In the end, humans are animals, too. As with a hurt animal who is afraid of humans, never give him reason to react aggressively. If he gets defensive, stay calm, show him that there is nothing out to get him, nothing to hurt him. Be gentle.